Metaphorical
by SteelCatchmage
Summary: The day she goes home she stumbles across a little elf. He clinges for her to dear life and so she takes him home and tries to get him back to the Pole. Before she can even try, there are more and more strange things happening... -On hiatus-
1. Chris, the christmas elf

**I don't own Rise Of The Guardians. I don't write this to earn money.**

* * *

I hate school.

I hate it.

Now it's out. I hate it with a hot and deep passion. I also hate cheerleaders. Just like I hate giggling people and pink and everything _cute_ and _fluffy_. But - Yay! - now I _did it_. I finally talked my _dear_ mother into something and I was successfull - double Yay! - now I will be teached at home. No more Cheerleaders, no more gorilla-like grunting idiots, ...

As I looked around I saw snow everywhere. Merely a week until easter and there stiil was snow!

I walked home, whistling and jumping and throwing snowballs at random people and almost fell over something - this time it were not my feet. What a wonder!

I nearly passed out - and I've _never_ passed out in my whole life before - as I saw the little... whatever it was. It had a red... outfit. It had a triangular shape and had a jingling bell on it's top. It had two holes for the arms, two for the big outsticking ears and one for the face.

Yeah, whatever. At first I thought that I must've hit my head to hard, so I pinched my arm hard. But the only result was a hurting, red dot. The ...elf was still there, grinning like crazy. Which I barely doubted.

"Cottahehe!"

I thought that that was supposed to mean "Good day" so I replied

"Um... hi. Do you undestand me?"

"Yeye"

"Does that mean "Yes"?"

He nodded.

"Okay... So... Oh- yeah! What's your name?"

"Christopher."

Christopher clinged to my leg like a three year old. I almost laughed.

"Well, okay, Chris - can I call you that? Okay?" He nodded furiously. "Fine. So, Chris, I really gotta go home, 'cause there's this cute little rabbit I gotta feed, y'know. Carrots and stuff."

He refused to let go of me.

"Chris, please! It was nice to meet you, but I can't take you home with me."

"Veve?"

"Why? I don't know you! I don't even know if you're real! You're maybe just a figment of my imagination!"

"Nene!"

"Of course you say that but how do I know it's true?"

"Ohnatee sisi enotet, eysi North awey!"

"What? Who's North?"

"Um... Senter Shence? Neinei. ... Senter... Clause? Senter Clause!"

"So, Santa says that... wait... um Honesty is important. Right?"

"Yeye."

Yup, that's definately a "yes".

"So, you say that you're being honest and that you really exist."

"Yeye!"

"But where's the proof?"

"Shiedra!"

"I should ask children?"

"Yeye! Yeye!"

"Okay, you little guy. I'll just look if anyone can see you. Compromise?"

"Yeye!"

"Fine." I chuckled.

On our way home there actually were almost ten children pointing at Chris and telling their moms and dads that there was one of Santas elves and they should _look_ but the parents sook their heads and dragged their children to wherever they were going.

* * *

As we arrived at my place nobody else was there. Oh lucky me!

Well, except the rebbits of course. So, first thing on the daily to-do list: feed them.

As this task was finally finished and I went back to the little elf that clinged onto my leg for dear life - whatever threat it saw stayed invisible to me. Yeeee-ha!

"So, Chris, what do you...um, eat?"

"Cookie!"

"Cookies? And what else? You can't impossibly just feed on cookies!"

"Ummm... milil?"

"Milk? What, is that supposed to mean you're on a lifelong Santa diet?"

"Neinei."

"So you do eat something else!"

Instead of a reply I got a little frustrated sound like a "hrmph".

"And what would that be, huh?"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"I'll find it out anyway. Now, let's go upstairs, and well go and google you little christmas hat."

"Yay!"

Okay, how could I misunderstand that. Even though I sincerely doubted that he understood what I said...

"Chris! Wait!" I shouted as I ran up the stairs right behind him.

"Neinei!"

"Why not? Don't be so hectic! You're acting like a three year old!"

"Goolee!"

I'd have to tell Larry Page and Sergey Brin about that word. Google in elfish.

He stopped right in front of the door to my room.

"Bright little guy. Yes, that's mine. Do not break anything, by the way."

"Iwimo."

"Yeah, of course you say that. Now, what are you?"

"Shrissnees elf!"

"Christmas elf. Cool searching phrase. The results were rather... uncool.

There was anything - from promotion for the movie "The Hobbit", advertising for tablecloths and even an arcticle from Wikipedia - but nothing related to the happy little elf in front of me.

"Tee: "I censy kardiran."!"

"What?! Why sould I- What's a Guardian?"

"Teetee!"

"Yes, yes, don't rush me, Chris!"

I obliged and typed "I can see guarian".

As I hit the "enter" key and slowly all the results were shown Chris let out a short joyful squeak while pointing at one of the websites. It simply said "The Guardians". So I clicked and waited for the site to load. It took what felkt like hours. In front of a beatufil sky picture appeared a loading bar. And after another while of waiting the bar got longer and then the screen was black again. I went to grab some cookies for Chris and me and as I came back the page was parted into five pieces.

The first one was red, the second one something between yellow and gold, the third one light purple, the fourth one ice blue and the last one grass green.

I clicked them clockwise. The first one was for Santa or like he was called here: North, and as I recognized when I clicked on the second one (the yellow one) that they all had something like a profile like. This time I landed on the Sandman's site. The purple one was for the tooth fairy, the ice blue for - wait, what? - Jack Frost and the green one for the Easter Bunny. As I went back to the main page I threw a look on the exicted elf. He grinned and pointed towards the red part.

"So, you're one of Santas helpers, aren't you?"

"Yeye! Yeye! Norpholee!"

"You're from the Northpole? But how doI get you back there?"

"Um..." Suddenly he jumped and poked on some black dot on the screen.

"Calm down, young man, or there aren't anymore cookies for you today! What are you trying to tell me?"

As I looked closer I recognized a small writing in that dot in the middle of the page. It read: "Contact us".

Wait, what? Contact Santa Clause?

My brain shouted "Curiosity killed the cat" at me but I ignored it and clicked the link.

It lead to another oage - Surprise! Surprise! - where a form waited.

"Oh no! Chris, c'mon, I don't even _know_ those people!"

But Chris shook his head with an empasis I didn't know he'd have and I started to fill the stupid form. Sighing.

As I came to the field "What is your purpose?" I shrugged and tipped "I found Chris, the elf.".

"So, my dear Chris, that's it. Enogh computer for today. We're gonna have a little ral life fun insted. What about making you a little hidden place to stay until we get to the...North Pole?"

"Yeye!" Sure. What else...?

I turned the computer off and headed for my cupborad looking fpr some blankets or anything like that.

Chris tried to help but after some accidents that could have ended very bad for himI took a rope and tied him to my desk. Where he couldn't kill anyone or die from a cholestel level that could compete the highest scyscrapers in New York - he ate cookies faster than you could tell him to take a break.

As I came back with a blanket, an old but recently cleaned food bowl of our rabbits and a milk bottle. Chris jumped with the bell on the top of his hat jingling and ran as far as the rope let him.

I had no idea how to bring him back to the Pole. This was going to be ass kicking, even though I didn't know it then.

But it wasn't going to be the only thing.

* * *

**A/N: Don't kill me! First attempt to write for this fandom. Oh, and please leave some reviews, okay? You want cookies? Here, I'll leave you some. Deal?**


	2. Another guest

The next morning was just as scary and crazy as the day before.

I woke up around eight o'clock and found the houise empty... wel, except Chris who was snoring in his hideaway under my bed. so I went down, changed into normal clothes, grabbed an aplle for breakfast and headed back as my ears caught a rather ...strange sound. I turned arround, looking for the origin since it was way to hoigh to cpme from Chris but I didn't find anything. As I turned around again I almost fell down the stairs.

I was facing a little half human half hummingbird that was not bigger than a football.

It grinned shyly at me and started to chirp and point and point again and miming strange things.

"Do you want to... dunno, um, knock me out?"

It shook its head in complete disagreement and looked slightly unnerved at me. And started to point and mine again.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. hold on, lil chap. What are you trying to tell me?"

Again desperate trys of nonverbal conversation.

"You... want my... tooth?"

The furious nod was the only answer I needed.

"Which one?"

More chirping.

"The old one? Forget it, there have been thousands of docs trying to get it out. It won't leave."

The tooth we were talking about was my last milk tooth. It was the second molar on the lower left hand side and even though there was no dental root it stuck in my mouth. The docs have been trsying very hard to get it out and since no one would listen to me two of them got knocked out by me. I didn't do it on purpose, but no one listened to me and as they started to become scary and tried to use creepy metal things to lever the tooth out of my jaw I, um... got very scared. I used to get panic attacs when I was at the docs anyway, but as I saw the giant and indisputable brutal instruments something clicked out and I knocked two of them out.

But I have to say it was just a love tap.

Nobody but those sissies would've passed out.

Well, and since then I have a very bad reputation in the environment of dentists. The rest of them refused to deal with me.

"You won't leave without it, huh? Okay, go ahead."

The little bird flew towards me and I opened my mouth.

"Um... I really don't wanna kill you but I'm a little scared that I'll bite your head off because of a reflex."

Another shaking of its head to ensure me that I wouldn't kill it accidentally.

"Okay... if you say so."

Silent yes.

So I opened my mouth again and tensed the muscles of my jaw.

After a while of pushing and pulling and shoving the gums away suddenly there was a strange feeling.

Or rather a not-feeling. Numbness.

The tooth was gone.

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**A/N: Sorry, very short but thanks for the reviews! There's just not much time left 'cause I'll leave tomorrow and won't come back for two weeks. Sorry. So, merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all! What about something salty this time? Well, I prefer cookies but you don't seem to like them too much... **


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